I read somewhere- I don’t remember where now- that the loved ones gone before us are separated from us by the thinnest of veils.
It might have been thinnest paper. I don’t remember.
The other morning though. Just before dawn. I was lying in bed, my mind not fully awake. In that semi lucid, semi conscious state just before you wake up.
And I could have sworn that I saw my mom peering at me. Her face so so close to mine that had I reached out less than inch, I could have touched her.
There she was. My mom. Just looking at me in that same way I’d sometimes find her watching me, so intently, so closely, so lovingly as though wondering how that baby she once carried inside her and held in her arms could be this inscrutable woman in front of her.
It was that same look, just way more intense, more imploringly, more intent, more piercing, more protective.
And in that half awake, half asleep state, I marveled at the thought that my mom had perhaps been watching over me all night, watching over me every day for the last three years, just as she had throughout my life as a baby, a toddler , a young girl, a teen, a young woman, an adult As she had watched over me, looked out for me, protected me, cried for me, worried for and about me, hoped and wished for me. Always. Every single day.
For a few fleeting moments, there she was as clear as day. Her face so close to me separated by the thinnest of veils watching over me yet again
Then I woke up
But what a comfort it was..is to.. know that my mom still watches over me. Even now at almost 52 years of age. Even now! Ain’t that amazing?
And I had the longing to let her know, to reassure her that I was mostly okay, would be mostly okay. Never the same, No never that But mostly okay give or take. Hobbling along one day at a time.
Till we meet again.
I look forward to that day very much. Not now..not yet but when my time comes, I can’t deny that I will be so so happy to see her again.