The line dividing before and after is stark, bold and clear. Before, there was a me. And now, I am no longer me. #missyoumom, #grief, #mom
Category: Family
The roller coaster of Grief
That’s the only way I can describe grief today. My mom passed way in May. It’s been about 3 months ago. Most days have been really bad days cycling through the so called stages of grief and dealing with regrets and the what ifs, could haves, should haves that are a big part of the…
Guilt and Grief
I had planned to go see mom 3 weeks before she died. I didn’t. I was exhausted. We were working 12 hour days, I was not sleeping well. I was still grieving the death of a good friend. I was still gripped by the silent grief of a childless mother. My guilt is endless. My…
My mother’s prayers.
Yesterday marked 2 months since mom passed away from this world. I’ve been thinking a lot about her, all day most days really. But a few days ago, I started thinking about mom’s prayers, how she would wake up in the early mornings to pray for those she loved, for the sick, the elderly, the…
Terrible, thanks for asking.
There’s a podcast I found a few months ago with this very name. It’s about those days or times when you feel terrible after loss, grief etc etc and someone asks you how are you? And really you feel terrible but say fine anyway. This is where I am. Where I have been for the…
I miss my mom
Not much else going on. Well a lot is. I left home on Tuesday, got back to work yesterday. Our company laid off 20 people including some very good co workers of mine. Maybe that’s why I feel so drained today. Mostly, I miss mom. I wish she had not died. I wish she was…
Returning to work
I’m expected back to work on Thursday. I’m not ready. I don’t know if I will ever be. It’s been almost 7 weeks now since mom died unexpectedly. Today I left home in Nairobi and my mom was not there for me to say goodbye to. As I boarded my flight, it hit me how…
Where do they go?
Those who have gone before us..where do they go? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself more frequently since mom passed almost a month ago. Along with, why did she go? Why now? Why at all? Why? why? why? I don’t really care about the questions or the answers. I just want my mom back….
Ignorance is bliss
How many times have I said to a grieving family “thoughts and prayers..”, “RIP”, “My sincere condolences” And I meant it. I empathized. But I realize now that I truly knew nothing of grief. There’s no grief like when death touches your family. Death has passed our way before..twenty years ago when our brother died….
Missing mom
How can the world go on without mom?
Authensible Musings: Piercing the mundane of everyday life 