The Wee Hours

It’s been a while since I’ve been up in the wee hours of the morning. And by a while, I mean maybe 3 or 4 weeks. That’s a miracle to me. Insomnia has been a constant companion of mine for many many years. Many years. And it’s only after a good night’s sleep or several…

No sleep tonight

It’s 5:34am, there’s been no sleep. I feel a little better than I did 2 hours, 4 hours ago when I was trying so hard to sleep I’d put sleep meditations on But finally, I just turned told myself to watch TV and relax So that’s what I’m doing. Watching a documentary called Unrest And…

9/1. 1:37am

I looked up at the clock and it contained 3 of my favorite digits and numbers which is always a delight. And hoped that this would be enough to salvage the night, the new day, the new month. The first of the month is always a good time to reset and start over and my…

Not Again!!!

My sleep routine failed me last night. I was up till 3:40am or maybe 4 not sure. Where did I go wrong? Hmm, I think I went to bed too early. Plus I should have gotten out of bed and did something like laundry or dishes or whatever then tried to go back to sleep….

Resilient humans

How amazing that your, ourheartsCan be brokenSo many timesAnd yet weEndure As though resilienceWas written intoOur very own DNABy our Creator Fearfully and wonderfully madeYou, I, WeAll of us Fearfully and wonderfully made.

The watching of the clock

8 or 9 pm: Going to bed early today didn’t sleep well last night. Have some.wine 10pm: Have showered. Took my meds. Sleep will come shortly 12am: close my eyes, relax. It’ll be okay. 12:30am: Hmm stronger drink maybe? Double meds,? 1am: WTF, 1 am and I’m still up but it’s okay. Read a bit,…

Little Did I know

Three years ago, my mother was living her last days but I didn’t know that. I had no clue. And her sudden death was and has been traumatizing.. I certainly thought I did. But little did I know that the last time I saw my mom had been the last. That..that hug at dawn on…

I wake up smiling when I sleep well

For some reason, well to be truthful–many reasons, that have changed with the seasons of my life, I have struggled with sleep for many years. So, on many days, No, I have not woken up smiling. I have woken up grouchy, tired, pessimistic and oh so tired. During the day, I would begin to feel…

The return of insomnia?

I have just one word “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!” It’s 2:35am. Why am I up? This s*** better not start again. I just can’t…