See their Grief

The other day I wrote of how the wind rattling my window blinds and the rays of dawn reminded me of early morning phone calls from my mom. And how I missed those calls so much and how I so missed her.

But really many, many moments on any random day do that. Any grieving daughter or son, or parent or sibling, or wife or husband, or partner, or friend or loved one will tell you that.

Yet for some reason no one talks of grief. We are all scared to talk of grief, we don’t know what to say, don’t want to be dragged down and indeed grief is a downer. We tell grievers to move on, to get past it, to let go. I’ve said a version of those words to a grieving person, you’ve said them, we all have. Grief is hard. But the appropriate things to say or not say to a griever is a whole other blog, indeed a whole other book.

I think what’s even worse than misspoken words is ignoring and trivializing grief. Ignoring the grieving especially now in the midst of a pandemic when so many people have lost loved ones, are losing loved ones everyday.

Those lost were/are mothers, fathers, grandparents, children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors to people all around us. People we know, people we see everyday and say nothing of their grief to. As if it never happened. As if they may have dreamt it. Let’s stop for a moment and recognize that. Let’s just pause. Pause and see their grief. See it. The grief of those who lost a loved one to Covid during lockdown, grief of those who lost a loved one and were not able to go see them or go to their funeral, the grief of those separated from their families, the grief of those grieving alone.

I started this blog writing about my mom but it took me somewhere else as writing sometimes does. I sure do hope that maybe now, as the cacophony of the political landscape slowly ebbs away (perhaps only biefly), we’ll recognize not only the grief of those around us but also our collective grief.

For what it’s worth, if you or anyone you know has recently lost a loved one, my grieving heart sees your grieving heart. I see your grief.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Chella says:

    Thank you so much for this blog!!! It is very helpful and very true! I do try to sympathize with others during these times who have lost a loved one due to the pandemic, since I myself have bare witnessed to losing my own mom during the time of this pandemic!
    So I can say that what you are saying is very true, it’s so very hard knowing every day that I could not be with my mom on her hospital room why she was taking her last breath and leaving this world! It’s definitely not something that’s easy to deal with, so thank you for addressing that! There are so many days I still just do not believe it!
    So I do want to say I’m sorry to all who have lost loved ones before this pandemic and during this pandemic and thank you for sharing this blog with us!


    1. authensible1357 says:

      Yes Chella it’s friends like you that were topmost on my mind as I wrote this. Lockdown and quaranineand #stayhome have made loss and grief even harder than usual.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s