Grief, 2 years later (Part 1)

Today the 21st of May was my mom’s last full earthly day. She died in the very early hours of May 22, 2018 of heart failure. Her death was sudden and unexpected. It has been one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.

Tomorrow, we’ll have a small memorial for mom. In these time of Covid-19, it’ll just be us and the grandkids. But as I sit here in these last few hours of the 21st here in Nairobi, there’s so much to say and at the same time nothing that would really convey what it feels like to be here 2 years later, to have existed then survived 2 years without mom on this earth. Today, I choose quotes and memes that I collected along the way on this grief journey to somewhat capture the last 2 years, this moment, then.. and now and they too will not be enough. But they’ll come close. It’s either that or a 1000 page treatise. And nobody wants that!

If this said every hour, it would still be 100% true.
This is where I hope to be someday soon. To live with the love my mom left rather than feeling her absence so acutely.
I found this photo of a sculpture depicting grief and it so encapsulated what I felt that day, what I often felt, and still feel sometimes
I miss my mom’s prayers. I miss my mom’s love for us, her kids.

I could go on but the hour is late. And I need to sit quietly for a bit, journal, maybe write a letter to mom to save with my memories. So let’s call this, Part 1. Thank you for reading.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Chella says:

    Catherine, thank you so much for sharing such a heart felt and deep testimony of what your mom meant and still means to you every single day!
    As my closest friend, I so wish I could be there with you in Nairobi for your moms memorial to share in your grief, Sorrow, memories and stories of her life and the joy she brought to so many, especially her family!
    You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers every single day and my heart is always with you❤️
    Thank you again so much for sharing a part of your mom with us!!!

    Like

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