Dear sleep:

Look, I can explain.

For two straight nights, you’ve run away from me despite my pleas.

Ok, I was too desperate. I get it.

I begged too much, tossed too much, turned too much, snacked too much, sipped too much, browsed too much, Netflixed too much.

Oh wow!, you are right. It was too much! I see that now.

I’m sorry, won’t happen again. You’ll see.

I’ll be relaxed, calm, quiet, non-browsing, non-netflixing. In fact, the very opposite of a desperate insomniac.

You’ll see.

Just please come tonight. Okay?

Yours sincerely.